The Pitfalls of a Single Gay Man?

Last week I wrote an article on how despite all the images and claims about the fantastic living of single life in the city, the reality is that its better to be a two or three or a four than a one. Shortly after came the sad news of the suicide of Kevin McGee better known as the former civil partner of Little Britain's Matt Lucas. Suicide is horrific regardless of who's done it and for what reasons and must be devastating for the loves ones, friend and family of the Vitim. However in a world where equality is forever being fought after the sad truth is that certain social categories are more likely to be vitims of suicide than others.


Gay man, thanks to those who suffered major discrimination and whose campaigning, brought such issues of inequality to the fore, have experience great leaps in equality over last 10 t0 20 years. Most gay man recently asked thought that being gay had no impact on employment chances, at least in the sectors that they wanted to work, whilst in certain areas such as media, fashion etc.........being a gay man was seen as a distinct advantage. The passing of civil partnership's meant that now gay couples could be legally recognised and in most major cities gay man feel free to go about the business without the need to feel they have something to hide. This is not to say that homophobia has completely gone, as that would be foolish, there is still a problem in schools and in certain areas of the country, but its a lot better than it once was. Yet despite this great leap forward gay people are still more likely to face certain problems than heterosexuals. Gay people are still more likely to suffer from mental health issues such as depression and, relating to my previous article gay people, when either very young or as they get older are also more likely to find them alone and isolated not necessary in terms of their careers or even social life, but in terms of the personal .

Yes there are gay couples who have a long term loving relationship throughout the vast majority of their adult lives but in reality this is only the luckily half of the gay world. Gay people are still less likely to find themselves in a life long relationship than straight couples. Gay man are still much more likely to find themselves single throughout their 20's,30's and 40's. There is still a stereotype of the single gay man having fuck and go relationships, which although is not the case for many, there is an element of truth in it and there nothing wrong with this after all if you are young and single what is wrong with having fun, as long as it safe, with other single people. Yet most psychologists would still argue that in reality this is no substitute for a loving relationship and is what, including gays, most people still want. The sad truth is that the gay world now louder and prouder than ever helps creates lonely gay single men. Ian McKellen said in a newspaper article that whilst it was great that gay men now could be open and proud with nothing to hide, and that the growing equality was also great, there were elements of the bad old time he missed, when the gay world was underground there was a comradely about it, everyone working for the common cause of freedom and equality, the down side was that many gay men never became a part of it having to live secret lives. However now the gay community has let equality bring in bad elements, with freedom has come body fascism's, the need for gay guys to have an image of success, the idea that they don't need of have to contribute to a gay community and instead just get on with their own goals and lives and as such more elements of selfishness and bitchiness. The problem with this is that fuck and go relationships of free proud gay men starts to wear thin after a while and instead we have free and proud but still lonely gay men spurned by the gay world's image to look fashionable and to keep face. This leads to hidden loneliness and hidden isolated. Reasons for suicide are always very personal and i have no idea about McGee's circumstances, whatever they were they didn't deserve such a young ending, but loneliness and personal isolation, even in a world of freedom and friends, can still be a killer for the successful, accepted single gay man.